Bored Walk? Uh-uh.

If you can’t sell it on the boardwalk, then it just can’t be sold. For some reason, when people get on the boards, all sense of reason seems to disappear. Hey, let your hair down!I started noticing the phenomena back in the fifties, when people started walking around wearing those huge, ridiculous sunglasses that everyone thought were so funny, especially the people selling them. The huge combs weren’t far behind, nor were the “big name buttons,” and, yes, I admit, I’ve been around since the food stands were pushing brontosaurus burgers.

During the sixties, the laugh of the party on the boardwalk invariably wore a hat with little beer cans around the brim, pretty much lending authenticity to the wearer’s IQ. And someone cleaned up (not literally) by attaching a dog collar to a stiff leash, instantly creating an invisible dog. At least I think they were dogs. Those clever jokesters who bought those leashes played it to the hilt, “walking” their invisible dogs up and down the boards, sometimes struggling to prevent the animal from performing an unseemly act on someone’s shoe. Ha ha… For lack of further imagination, these “dogs” were all the same size, rather small, and their barks sounded suspiciously human-like.

The stuffed animal has survived as a game stand staple, and lest PETA sound an alarm, we’re not talking taxidermy here. Some stands now have bigger and better prizes, but the stuffed species still proliferates. Now there is nothing really wrong with stuffed animals (and other creatures), especially if you’re a young guy with a pretty woman. Okay, you don’t really have to be young – many an older woman still has a place in her heart for a stuffed animal, especially if it was won for her by her man. What boggles my mind is how much someone will actually spend to “win” one of these prizes. Better to just buy a high quality teddy bear from a vendor on my web site (hint, hint). I can guarantee from personal experience that your woman will love it more than flowers, especially if you have it personalized.

But back to the boards. We’ve graduated, I guess you can say. Besides all of the standard boardwalk fare available, the Wildwood Boardwalk now offers tattoos, body piercing, henna tattoos; and you can even buy some more hair, if you find yourself a bit lacking. I have to admit, the tattoo and body piercing parlors really enrich the whole family atmosphere that has always been one of the boardwalk’s strong points.

Cynicism aside, the boardwalk remains a strong attraction for young and old, friends, lovers, and family. Many things have changed through the years, but it still pretty much looks like the same old playground.

6 thoughts on “Bored Walk? Uh-uh.”

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