The Art of Advertising
I sat around thinking about how to create a TV ad for pushing my artwork. I’m talking strictly hypothetically, because the revenue generated from all of my collections wouldn’t buy a minute of TV time. Actually, I think we’d be down to microseconds, and since subliminal advertising isn’t exactly legal, it’s easy to see why this is purely speculative. What’s not easy to see is why I would even waste my time thinking about it.
The easiest way to come up with an idea would be to pattern an ad after one or more of the ads for other products currently running. What, you say that’s not creative? I’m simply following the trends in Hollywood, which opened up its morally bankrupt vault and tossed in a big chunk of original thought.
The latest rage in Movieland trends toward attempting to get in the Guinness Book of World Records for either remaking a movie the most times, or perhaps for seeing how much worse a remake can be than the original.
Like, how many times can they remake King Kong? Then there’s The Poseidon Adventure, The Pink Panther, The Longest Yard, and Caddyshack, to name a few. Speaking of which, has anyone ever actually watched an Adam Sandler movie? I guess that’s one way to get yourself placed in the record books.
So back to my ads. I guess I could follow the beer commercial scenario, and have some college kids attempt to either steal, or trick someone out of, one of my prints. That would indicate that my work is very desirable, whether or not it actually is.
Another way to indicate that my prints are worth more than just chump change would be for a young lady to fail in luring her boyfriend away from watching a football game by suggesting some intimate moments together. That is, until she indicates that she also has one of my prints sitting atop the satin sheets!
Or, I could go for the low ego value. One person would stand in front of his (or her) prized Rembrandt, holding a megaphone, shouting, “Because I want to impress everyone.” Similar events would take place with Van Gogh’s, Dali’s, etc. Finally, the not-so-proud owners of a Ron Mathis print would toss the megaphone, content with the feeling that, while the print may not impress anyone, it certainly is a nice addition to their home. That’s really not far fetched, you know. And look at the money saved!
Going off in a different direction, some phony-voiced carny could shout over a background of annoying thump-thump sounds about my big art BLOWOUT SALE! You know, the thing about how all inventory must go to make room for new items. Prices so low you have to do the Limbo just to buy one of my prints.
No, I guess that’s not an avenue I’d choose to pursue even if I could figure out a way to make it work. It just sounds so cheap, and my artwork isn’t cheap. It’s just inexpensive, with the real value in the eye of the beholder.