I accidentally watched some of the local news last night. When dealing with TV in South Jersey, local means Philadelphia, AKA Philly, to those in the know.
The news and weather people ran through the usual mundane stories concerning homicides, hit and run accidents, and other such uneventful news stories. I understand that one of the stations is considering moving the daily shootings to the sports segment. I don’t mean to discourage anyone considering visiting Philadelphia, because most sections of Philly are perfectly safe, although most of those neighborhoods are actually in South Jersey, but definitely not near Camden.
Okay, I’m stretching things a bit. Statistically, some parts of Philly are just as safe as anyplace else in the good old USA, as long as you happen to be there at 2:05 p.m. on a Tuesday. Most violent crime in the city occurs between the hours of 2:10 p.m. and 2:00 p.m., so the period between those times is when most residents emerge from their homes to run errands and shop for necessities, such as ammunition. For some reason, Tuesdays fare better than other days.
Ha, ha! I’m only kidding about most of this stuff! One news item, however, did bring me to the edge of my seat, and I knew it was big as soon as I heard the grim tones of the reporter. Yoga, experts suspect, results in tinea pedis, for some people!
Yes, you heard me right! Large numbers of unsuspecting, and sometimes innocent, people are contracting the dreaded disease of athlete’s foot as a result of practicing yoga!
The reporter consulted more experts and came up with some guidelines for practicing safe yoga. None of these experts recommended avoiding standing on your head, although most agreed that standing on someone else’s head can lead to complications considerably more serious than tinea pedis, but none of them explained the exact nature of the complications. Tinea capitis is one possibility, I suppose.
First (and if it’s first, it must also be foremost), most yoga experts recommend bringing your own yoga mat, rather than using one of the sweat-soaked community mats, which breed the tinea fungi, which means lots of funguses. Yes, untreated sweat is to fungi pretty much what the briar patch was to B’rer Rabbit! And strangely enough, when a male tinea fungus meets a female tinea fungus in a pool of sweat, they start producing more tinea fungi in much the same way rabbits reproduce, only much, much, faster!
Whether you bring your own yoga mat, or continue to skirt the edges of danger by using a community mat, it’s important to first dry the mat, while taking precautions to avoid contracting athlete’s hand. They recommend using anti-bacterial wipes, or maybe it was anti-fungal wipes, but if in doubt, consult your local yoga instructor. In keeping with PETA guidelines, they stated that no fungi were actually harmed or killed during their demonstration. If so, I suspect that no fungi were present to begin with.
But what about the individual who diligently practices safe yoga, and ends up with the heartbreak of athlete’s foot anyway? Fortunately, treatment is available. Simply buy some topical anti-fungal medication and apply it to the affected areas. This was demonstrated with animations, probably because this stuff actually kills the fungi in question, and would have violated PETA guidelines. First consult with your doctor, who will say, “Why didn’t you just buy some Absorbine Jr?” You can substitute other product names, as long as you don’t blame Desenex.
Anyway, this report really opened my eyes to the dangers of practicing yoga, and it’s unlikely that I will take up the activity anytime in the future, but not because of this report. I just think it’s a waste of time.
NEXT: The Hidden Dangers of Bowling Shoes!