Paper Shortage
Monday, February 5th, 2007We were anticipating someone Faxing us some legal documents, so we headed for the store to buy some legal-size paper for our FAX machine, which uses an inkjet printer. Not wanting to waste time running from store to store, we went directly to our local Staples, the Office Superstore.
I figured our biggest problem would be deciding which brand and type of paper most suited our needs, but surmised that, between both of us, we could figure it out in five minutes or less. Actually, it took longer than that to find any type of legal-sized paper at all. They stocked one type of legal paper, their own brand, suitable for copy machines.
During our search, we had to detour around a dolly blocking the aisle. Reams of paper sat stacked on the dolly, none of it legal size. We knew it was time to consult a trained professional, and we found him much quicker than we found the legal paper.
He told us to use the copy paper, that it would work fine, but if we wanted some other type, they could order it and have it there the next day. Actually, we wanted the paper that day, which explained our presence in the store, twenty-nine miles from home. The package disagreed with the trained professional clerk, and stated that it was not suitable for inkjet printers. I decided to go with the manufacturer’s recommendation, which, indirectly, was to leave the store directly.
We then drove to a local department/discount store, recently completed, occupying about the same area as Grand Central Station. We found paper in two separate locations in the store, but never found the secret vault with all the legal paper. After consulting another trained professional, we left when she didn’t seem to know what we were asking her. At this point, we suspected a conspiracy, but headed to another similar store anyway.
No, I’m not going to tell you that we found no legal paper there, either. Oh, wait. . . I’m just not that good at lying. We went home in defeat. Two days later, the person who intended to send the FAX arrived at our home for a meeting, and left us a stack of legal-sized paper, suitable for a copy machine, so it says.
I now wonder, however, what happened to all the legal-size paper? Have the tree-huggers even gotten to the paper companies, and forced them to conserve the rain forests by not producing legal-size paper? I hope not, since most paper pulp comes from pine trees, rather than mahogany trees.
Or do these store managers suspect, based on the number of job applicants, that illegal aliens comprise most of the local population, and therefore have no need for anything legal?
Perhaps the general population is so wealthy that they use attorneys for all personal business, and see no sense in wasting their hard-earned money on paper they’ll never use.
A search on the internet provides alarming results! Legal-size paper, especially for inkjet printers, seems to be headed the way of the Edsel. I don’t really care, because I always considered it unwieldy anyway, but if you really can’t live without it, I suggest stocking it in your storm cellar, right beside the canned goods.
So, if you happen to be looking for inkjet-suitable legal paper, I wish you Godspeed in your search. If you’re looking for anything else, please visit my shopping page at Barrier Island Art. Everything there is legal, with the possible exception of the paper.