Who Needs Parking Meters?
While Cape May officials continue scratching their collective heads concerning parking meter rates, the Philadelphia Parking Authority, AKA PPA, already has a better plan working. It’s called “free parking,” and generates much more revenue than paid parking. Yes, you read that correctly; “ free parking” brings in more money than paid parking.
The PPA, in its infinite wisdom, also went through a lengthy head-scratching era when it considered installing parking meters in residential areas. Eventually the newly-bald members concluded that parking meters cost money, must be maintained and repaired, and the money must be collected and counted on a regular basis. Signs, on the other hand, still require an initial cash outlay, but require very little maintenance (no moving parts) and the patrons can mail in the free parking fees.
I know, you’re probably saying, “Well, if the parking is free, how can they charge a fee?” Well, they employ two methods, both proven effective. Plan One limits the time, just like a parking meter, but without requiring initial payment. Plan Two limits the hours when free parking is permitted. During my 44 years of driving, I’ve had three parking tickets, two from the PPA, and one from the city of Athens, Georgia, where (and I am not making this up) they put up temporary no-parking signs after I had already parked there. A police officer (and I am not making this up, either) watched me park there and never said anything to me.
Anyway, my first experience with the PPA occurred a few years ago in Manayunk, when I went to eat dinner with some friends. One of them, who lived in the area, told me that I didn’t have to put coins in the meter after eight P.M. He was correct, that is, if we had parked in the more ideal locations closer to the restaurant, but since we had to walk a block-and-a-half, the free parking started at ten P.M. After receiving the summons, I drove back to check, and was surprised that the times on the signs changed, depending on the area. Some started at nine P.M. Minor detail, so I just paid the $175.00.
My next encounter occurred a few days ago, when my wife and I went to visit a property she owns on Bainbridge Street. We found a parking spot about a half block away, and the signs did proclaim two-hour parking. Our purpose of the visit was to interview contractors to perform some work so we can (thankfully) sell the stupid place. We spent several hours there, and at one point I thought about moving the vehicle and looking for another space, but shrugged it off as ridiculous. Apparently, it would have been a good idea, because a violation notice announced that we owed $26.00 to the PPA.
This reinforced my belief that living in the area would be a really bad idea. I can’t imagine sitting at home and going out to move my vehicle every two hours! I suppose residents get some sticker or something, but we certainly didn’t have one.
Anyway, we headed down Broad Street on our way home, cruising past the endless rows of vehicles parked in the no-parking zones in the center of the street. I also reflected on other areas of South Philly, such as (but not limited to) Porter Street, where cars double- and triple-park, ghost park (double-parking when no car is at the curb) and park in the middle of the street at traffic lights. No one in these areas ever receives a violation, proving once again the importance lubrication plays in maintaining continual operation of something. In this case we’re talking about keeping pockets well-greased, or maybe PPA members have some phobia about horse’s heads, who knows?
This story, however, has a somewhat-happy ending. We arrived home and discovered that my income tax check had arrived. The amount was $30.00, giving me a net return of $4.00. Let’s hear it for Brotherly Love!