Lucky Fluke
Things are looking up for flounder (or flounders, if you prefer) in New Jersey, although, admittedly, flounder are always looking up. That’s because both of their eyes eventually end up on one side of their bodies.
The New Jersey Marine Fisheries Council, in its infinite wisdom, set the legal size limit to 18 inches, up an inch from last year. The Council also shortened the season length.
This is, indeed, good news for the flatfish, and an influx of undersized flounder from other areas is expected. We saw this in 2007, with blue claw crabs. Crabbers found it difficult to catch any crabs large enough to keep last summer, and some felt that it was President Bush’s fault, but it was really just a clever ploy by the crabs themselves.
“Clem, don’t pay any attention to those ‘Eat Mor Chikin’ signs,” said a crabby wife to her husband. “Chickens don’t live in the bay. Send the kids in, because they’re not allowed to keep our kids.”
“But what if they keep them anyway?” Clem asks. “Sometimes they do that, you know. Chuck and Clara lost all their kids last year.”
“Those kids weren’t the sharpest claws in the mud. They could have easily slipped through the openings in the trap. I’m just saying don’t mess around with chicken or dead bunkers.”
We also saw a migration of dwarf crabs, known as LC’s or little crabs to the area.
And so the case will be within the flounder populace:
“Flora, take off that silly-looking tailpiece! If you get caught wearing that, you’re a keeper!”
“Oh, don’t worry, Fred. I stay away from lone minnows playing hooky from their schools. I can’t be fooled that easily! Hey, look! There’s part of a shedder crab floating a foot off the bottom! I just can’t resist shedder cr-a-a. . .ouch!”
The most educated flounder will consult with their crabby brethren, agreeing to provide part of their tail fins as food if the crabs perform the trimming.
A bigger question is whether or not the fishermen (and women) intend to comply. The commercial fishers have little choice, but those fishing for recreation may think differently. We interviewed one:
Interviewer: “Sir, do you intend to comply with the new rules for summer flounder?”
Sam (a fisherman): “I intend to comply, as long as the fish I catch are of legal size.”
Interviewer: “And what if they’re not?”
Sam: “Not much I can do about that. I don’t have any way of telling the fish to not bite if it happens to be undersized. I’ve got a family to feed, you know.”
Interviewer: “Right, but if you sold your boat you could feed your family.”
Sam: “Maybe for ten or twenty years, but then what? You reporters always think you have all the answers!”
We also wonder if the intent is for “zero-tolerance” enforcement.
Marine Police: “Sir, this flounder measures only seventeen and fifteen-sixteenths inches. I’m afraid you’re the one who’s going to spend the night in the cooler.”
Fish Person: “We’ll, it measured eighteen-and-one-quarter when I landed it. The sun must have shrunk it. I hardly think that’s fair. I think it’s supposed to be the length when you catch it, which is the pre-shrinkage length. You have to allow for shrinkage.”
Marine Police: “Tell you what. I’m going to let this one slide, being as you said it measured out at eighteen-and-a-quarter when you caught it. However, I have to charge you a twenty-dollar shrinkage fee, payable in cash.”
Fish Person: “Just for future reference, is that shrinkage fee the same for one that’s say, sixteen inches? Not that I’d attempt to keep one that small, although that’s really not small, but I was just wondering. . .”
So it seems that this restriction may be opening a new can of worms, although I’ve never seen them for sale, and flounder don’t like them that much anyway. I think they should go back to the standard of looking at a fish and saying, “Looks like a keeper!”
We seem to spend way too much time worrying about fish populations, while ignoring our own population problems, especially with respect to illegal immigration. A long time ago, Jesus proved that if God wants fish, He can make them, and He can make them legal size if the occasion requires it.