A few things are changing on the Wildwood boardwalk for the 2009 season. For example, visitors will no longer have to worry about falling through the aging planks, at least for an entire block or so. Originally, the replacement material was designated as black locust, a domestic wood, but the first shipment was judged to be of inferior quality. The municipality’s officials decided to go with ipe (they tell me it rhymes with the auction site), a tropical hardwood.
This immediately brought a group of people who have probably never actually seen a rainforest out of their winter hideaways, protesting the destruction of the rainforests, and the evils of supporting the destruction by buying tropical hardwoods. Okay, let’s analyze this situation. First of all, this wood has already been harvested and milled, so any destruction already took place. Buying this wood contributes nothing to rainforest decimation. If boards are planted, they become pilings, not trees.
If you’re really concerned about the rainforests going away, then hop on a plane and head for South America. The locals will welcome your protests and may even have you for dinner.
Morey’s Corporation held a ceremony to ease its guilt for not making good on its promises to restore and reopen The Golden Nugget mine ride. The Moreys said it would have cost too much, and they understand what it meant to the people, but it just wasn’t feasible, blah, blah, woof, woof. . . More than likely, what they really meant to say was that the ride, first opened in 1960, was a bit too tacky for their tastes. A bit haughty, considering that they got their start by dragging a very tacky used slide back from Florida, proving that sometimes, one person’s tacky is another’s joy. They unveiled plans and a model of a new coaster that would be built on two piers, supposedly making the transit from one pier to the other across the beach, then under the other pier. If ever built, it will be sure to draw the crowds, but not everyone seeks the ultimate thrill ride. Some find more comfort in rides that are unique and entertaining for the entire family, such as The Golden Nugget. They sold the ride to Knoebels Amusement Resort in Elysburg, Pennsylvania, although it’s not clear what they actually sold. Supposedly, the track and some cars, so they say. The new “owners” plan on reinventing the ride, and may well opt for a coal mining theme. The Black Nugget?
In other news, the Wildwoods Boardwalk Special Improvement District, which operates the tram cars, announced that the one-way fare will increase from $2.00 to $2.25. This certainly makes sense, considering the current state of the economy. They’re calling it a “modest increase,” for the care and maintenance of the trams. Sound business sense never really ran rampant in the Wildwoods, and it doesn’t seem to be multiplying at any alarming rates. Increasing the fare brings more money per passenger, but not necessarily more revenue. The extra quarter means a dollar for a family of four, possibly enough to encourage them to put some more mileage on their flip-flops. The two-dollar fare is easier on attendants, and doesn’t require them to carry and handle a lot of coins. But what do I know? I’m only an individual who won’t pay the price.
They’re also going to run a daily all-you-can-ride special, from 11:00 a.m. till 5:00 p.m., for five dollars. How many times one person, other than the tram driver, would want to ride up and down the boardwalk, especially during the afternoon, is questionable. One round trip using the unlimited ride option would cost more than the regular fare. This plan also was obviously well thought out.
Of course, these are not the only three things that will change your Wildwood boardwalk experience this year. There’s always the possibility another giant beach ball could pop up somewhere. . .