The powers that be in Wildwood, in another brilliant move, okayed riding bikes on the boardwalk until 12 noon. Then they added that it would not become law until North Wildwood enacted a similar ordinance for its part of the boardwalk. North Wildwood officials stated that there is no intention to do so at this time. That’s sort of like saying you don’t have to pay for metered parking as long as North Wildwood doesn’t require it. I hope the latter doesn’t become a reality, because North Wildwood’s meters operate until the last Sunday in October, much later than those in Wildwood and the Crest.
At least the commission stated that riding would be permitted until 12 noon, unlike the local CVS pharmacy, which has a neon sign proclaiming, “Open from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. 7 Days.” That means the store is open for only four hours a day, which is not the case.
The U.S. Navy eliminates confusion concerning a.m. and p.m. by using a 24-hour clock. Noon is designated as twelve hundred, and midnight is twenty-four hundred. One minute after midnight is 00:01.
In the real world, there’s no real consensus on whether or not noon is a.m. or p.m., but it’s more common to be considered as p.m., which means post meridian, not past midnight. It’s easier to think of the time between 12 o’clock and 1 o’clock in determining which to use. For example, 12:15 p.m. is in the afternoon, and 12:15 a.m. is in the morning. Or you can just say, “noon fifteen,” I suppose.
Anyway, if you’re thinking of creating a permanent neon sign for your business, you should consider the format in advance; otherwise you could see a rush of customers in the morning attempting to beat the noon deadline. Or, you could experience many disgruntled customers upset that your business closed before midnight.
Some other items considered by the Wildwood commissioners are:
• Underage drinking in taverns, provided the state passes a similar law.
• Placing permanent signs on the boardwalk that read, “Free Tramcar Rides Tomorrow.”
• Buying giant umbrellas to match the giant beach balls.
• Extending the tourism and development tax to include not just motels and restaurants, but also Anglesea Auto Repair, which already charges its customers for the tax.
The commissioners adjourned the meeting when they were unable to think of anything more ridiculous than considering keeping bars open 24/7.
Okay, I’m kidding. They’re not really considering the giant umbrellas, but that doesn’t mean they won’t at some point in the future.
Well, I have to stop because I have to get to the pharmacy before noon.