The Winner is Winter

Q: I keep hearing some people using the term, “price point.” What’s the difference between price and price point? Is there some special meaning associated with this?

A: Yes. It’s a smarmy term for price. When a consumer tells a seller that he’s looking for a price point of about $20,000, that signals the seller that the sky’s the limit. Conversely, if a seller says that the price point is $20,000, the buyer knows he can pick the item up for a song. In a nutshell, stupid people like to say stupid things that they think make them feel more sophisticated, although the projected effect is that they’re idiots.

Q: Can you tell me what prose means?

A: Of course. It’s a level of achievement that exceeds that of an amateur, especially in sports. Example: “He excelled in football while in college, but now he’s in the prose.” I hope this helps.

Q: Is it acceptable to say, “Three other guys and myself went hunting?”

A: Only if you qualify it by saying, “Three other themselves and myself went hunting.” Of course it’s not okay! Have we totally forgotten the pronouns, “I,” and “me?” “Three other guys and I went hunting,” No, don’t say, “Myself went hunting with three other guys,” either. Just say, “I went hunting with three other guys.” By replacing “I,” or “me,” with “myself,” doesn’t make you sound sophisticated, it makes you sound ignorant.

Q: Well, then, how about, “John, Joe, Bill, and myself went hunting?”

A: Duh! Read my last sentence above.” The correct sentence would be, “John, Joe, Bill, and I went hunting.” All “self” pronouns are reflexive, and must relate the subject to the object in the same sentence. “John, Joe, and Bill didn’t want to go hunting, so I went by myself.” Or, “I didn’t want to go hunting, so John, Joe, and Bill went themselves.”

Q: Can a “d” sound like a “t?”

A: I ditn’t know it could until I moved back to South Jersey. It’s also as popular in Philly as soft pretzels. Not only that, but a “t” can sound like a “d.” Example: “I’d like a glass of wooder.” It can also be completely silent, as well as confusing, as in, “It’s cold, but I’m here for the winner.” I don’t know what the people here are hooked on, but it ain’t phonics.

Q: What the heck does “fro” mean? You know, like the boat was rocking to and fro.

A: If you thought it was an ethnic hairdo, you would be wrong. That would be, ‘fro. It means, “from,” Ding Dong, although why not just say, “back and forth,” or would that be too much to ask? Yes, the Cape May Ferry goes to and fro, meaning it goes to Lewes and comes from Lewes.

Q: What is the meaning of “do-si-do?”

A: Only a square would be familiar with that dance term. It means to go around your partner while facing the same direction. Hey, wait a minute! Our grade school principal and his wife, my fifth-grade teacher, were certified hog callers, so they made us square dance in the schoolyard. Not my idea. . .

Q: Since you know so much about square dancing, what does. . .

A: Bye!

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